


Follow The Signs

by resistancegenerals



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Drunken Kissing, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Fluff, I am so sorry, Kissing, M/M, Memory Loss, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe doesn't remeber, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Poe Dameron, Resistance, Slow Burn, Star Wars - Freeform, Temporary Amnesia, There will be sex, Yavin 4, like superrr slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-20 21:58:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21288818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resistancegenerals/pseuds/resistancegenerals
Summary: Poe just wants everything to go back to normal. He just wants to hold Finn in his arms without him flinching.He messed up.Except that he doesn't even remember how or why.As if Poe wasn't an emotional piece of shit already.--------Aka the amnesic fic that no one asked for but here it is!Super slow burn.Don;t kill me.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	Follow The Signs

Ever since Poe joined the resistance, he spent half his time in the air and the other half in the medbay. Sometimes he was knocked out for a couple of days. Other times, he was just getting stitched up. Doctor Kalonia never failed to lecture him every single time he went, though. It was almost as if they had these appointments. Where he would go and get himself injured and end up exactly where he was one week ago. 

He liked talking to Kalonia. Poe knew very well how much it irritated her every time he had to come in. He also knew that, deep down, it was her concern for him that caused the annoyance of having to see him so often. But, he would just laugh and wink at her. 

Each time. 

So when Poe’s eyes blink to life, he is met with the familiar pristine white ceiling as always. Except that he can’t even think twice about the ceiling, not enough to notice the small changes, because his head is pounding at his skull as if to get out. 

He feels like he just got run over by a bantha. 

His eyelids keep closing and opening, trying to adjust to the florescent lighting. The machines around him are beeping and whirring, making all the usual sounds. 

Poe lifts his arm to bring it to his head, but his arm is suddenly jerked back down. His head looks down, maybe a little too quickly, and notices something. His arm. It is tied, To the bed, 

His arm is tied to the bed. 

His arm is tied…. To the bed

What the hell?, Poe thinks to himself.

Instantly he looks to his other hand. It is also being restrained by the same blue rope as his right arm. 

He looks around the room, searching for someone to tell him what the hell was going on. Poe suddenly becomes very aware of the dryness in his mouth and throat. It’s as if he has gone days without water. His throat feels like its about to crack open.

He tries to pull both arms toward his chest, as hard as he can. He realizes that at this very moment, he doesn’t have that much strength. It was useless. 

Poe thinks that if Finn were here, he would tell him to calm-

**_Finn_**. 

_Finn_. Where was Finn?

Poe looks around the room for a second time, as if Finn would magically appear. His eyes roam every single inch of the room. There was a door with a small window in the front middle of the room. Two machines on either side of his bed, with tubes and iv’s poked directly is his body. There was a screen hanging a couple feet about the bed. Probably so people could watch holomovies. The screen at the moment was black though. 

Also right next to his bed was a small table and a chair right next to it. The chair was facing the bed, so he assumes whoever was using it must have been watching him. 

It was probably Finn, Poe thinks to himself. The thought has the corners of his mouth turning upwards. Of course it was Finn. His Finn. _Poe’s_ Finn. 

Who _else_ would it be? 

Besides that, there was just the bed. 

Nothing else. No-one else. 

He was all alone. 

He was already beginning to close his eyes and drift off to sleep again when the door handle rattles. Poe jerks himself to a sitting position and watches as the person walks in. 

It takes a moment for him to register her. 

Kalonia.

Doctor Kalonia. 

Why does she look likes she’s aged 5 years in a week? 

A week is how much time he remembers it was since his last time in the medbay. 

Poe just can’t help but _stare_. Lips parted as if he is about to speak, but the words don’t come out. He swallows, or tries to swallow. 

Doctor Kalonia is holding a glass of water and some papers in her hand. She walks the few steps to the side of Poe’s bed and extends her hand with the glass of water to his mouth. 

He suddenly remembers the restraint.

He wants to argue. 

He _will_ argue. 

Because what the hell? _Restraints_? **_Really_**?

But he is too thirsty to do it right this second. So instead, he brings his lips to the rim of the glass and literally _gulps_ the water down. 

He doesn’t remember ever being this thirsty is his whole damn life. 

After he drinks it to the last drop, Kalonia sets the glass on the table beside the bed. 

“How are you feeling, Dameron?” She asks, with her eyes scanning the pages in her hands. 

“Like I took an actual x-wing to the head.”

That gets a chuckle out of her. 

“Well it might have well been an x-wing,” she pauses for a moment.

“What exactly happened out there?” 

And Poe is just _confused_. He racks at his brain and comes up short. Nothing. No memory of the mission he was on. 

“I…I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me” He speaks quietly this time. Too nervous with himself. 

Kalonia just looks at him, concern in her eyes. 

“I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I don’t know either.” 

Poe’s head is suddenly spinning. 

How would they not know? Was there no report for this mission? 

“Well, what does it say in the mission report then?” Poe is trying to stop the spinning feeling in his head. 

Then, Kalonia’s whole expression changes from concern to confusion and then back to concern. 

“What mission report?” She asks slowly. Enunciating each word as if asking it to a child. And Poe was definitely not that. 

If Poe thought he was confused before, It is nothing compared to how he feels right now. 

“The mission report… for the mission… that I was on?” It comes out as more of a question than a statement. Because honestly, he has no idea what the _fuck_ was going on. 

Just as he expected, more staring. She looks as if she saw a ghost. 

He suddenly feels very self conscious and even more, scared. 

He tries to bring a hand to his hair but the hand is once again jerked down by the restraint on it. 

“Why do I have these on?” Poe’s thoughts are now consumed with the restraints. 

What could he have done to get literally tied to the bed?

Kalonia glances at the restraints. 

“You were having nightmares while you were unconscious. You hit yourself a couple of times. The restraints were just a precaution”

Oh. That makes sense. 

Sort of. 

“Well, can you take them off now?”  Kalonia hesitates for a moment before reaching down and untying the restraint on his right arm. Then she goes around to the other side of the bed and does the same for the left hand. 

“Thank you,” Poe says as soon as she finishes,. He runs a hand through his hair, his curls feeling very stiff and… familiar. 

“So,” Kalonia starts again, “You don’t remember what happened?”

“No,” Poe responds flatly. 

He literally has no clue how this simple mission went downhill. His eyes widen as he remembers that he wasn’t the only one on that mission.

“Shit! Finn! Jess! How are Finn and Pava?” The words are oozing out of his mouth like a rapid waterfall. Almost too fast to be comprehensible. 

The concern on Kalonia’s face only grows. 

“They’re fine. Why do you ask?” 

And Poe just wants to scream at her, because what does she **_mean_**? Why is he asking? About his best friend and boyfriend? 

“The mission. They went with me. Did they get hurt too?” He manages to convey his thoughts to words. 

“Poe.. there wasn’t a mission,” Kalonia reaches out to put her hand on his shoulder, but Poe flinches at the touch, 

She quickly removes her hand and just looks at him. 

“What do you mean there wasn’t a mission? Yes there was. We were on our way to Crait to look for refugees,” Suddenly Poe feels very warm. His breath is coming out harshly because he just doesn’t _understand_. 

The mission. What happened to the mission, 

“Can you get Finn? I want to see Finn,” He pants. 

His eyes are becoming watery at the corners and he just can’t help it. 

The last thing he Wass expecting was the frightened look on Kalonia’s face. 

She hesitates for a moment. “I don’t think that is the best idea, Poe.”

Poe just wants to cry. Cry because he doesn’t understand. Cry because he can’t remember what happened during the mission. Cry because his head feels like it’s about to explode. Cry because he wants to see Finn. 

“Why not? Why isn’t he here anyways? He is always here when I wake up!” And poe just feels the room closing in on him. He lies back down against the pillows and just closes his eyes, 

He takes long breaths. 

Feeling each one down to his core. 

Silence. 

Kalonia doesn’t say anything until he opens his eyes again. 

“Poe. What is the last thing you remember?”

Poe sits up, He is surprised by the question. 

He knew he was injured but he didn’t know it was that bad. 

“We were leaving— Finn, Jess, Snap and I. The General sent us to Crait to search for refugees from other plants invaded by the first Order, We were still in the hangar, just talking. i— I don’t remember us leaving yet,” Poe finishes, the last words barely a whisper. 

Because he is scared. He doesn’t remember leaving. So how did this happen?

Kalonia writes something down on the pages she has been holding this whole time. Poe never even noticed a pen in her hand. 

“Can you…please get Finn?” 

Kalonia gives him a worried look before nodding. 

“Of course. I’ll send word for him,” 

The relief is instantaneous. His whole body relaxes. He feels like he is deflating. Like someone just popped a ball inside of him, releasing all the air. 

Without another word, Kalonia gives him one last worried look and heads for the door. 

She stops at the door and turns back around. 

“If you need anything, just let know. I will be back soon,” 

Poe just nods. It’s all he can do. 

She gives him small smile and leaves the room, turning right and walking off, out of his view. 

_Finn_, he thinks. 

Poe wants to see Finn. To hold him, To kiss him. To bring his fingers to Finn’s cheeks and brush against them lightly. Just staring into Finn’s eyes. 

Because, force, did he love Finn’s eyes.  He remembers the first time he met Finn and actually look in his eyes. They were scared. Nervous. Finn saved his life, 

Finn saved his life and he still didn’t think that Poe even liked him. Even after all the times Poe was so **_obvious_** about his feelings. Holding his hand and leaving kisses on his cheeks. Doing all that before they even started dating, The whole resistance knew and Finn still didn’t. It was almost like he was purposely ignoring it. 

So the day that Poe just went up and kissed Finn, right after they got back from a mission, everything changed. Finn looked so surprised but also so happy. 

Poe mumbled something about ‘doin’ something about this before I die’ type of thing, 

The thoughts bring a smile to Poe’s face. He feels the heat already rising to his cheeks. 

He can’t help it. That happens every time he thinks about Finn. 

Almost on queue, the door opens again. 

Poe thinks it must be Kalonia again. 

Except it’s not. 

It’s Finn. 

Finn standing at the doorway. Eyes wide and dark. They seem.. sad, almost. 

Poe looks him from head to toe. 

He looks _tired_. 

Like physically exhausted, 

He is wearing a long-sleeve white shirt that clings to his muscles. A shirt is not even sure he’s ever seen. Brown cargo pants and black boots are on his bottom half. 

He is also wearing a necklace. 

But Poe can’t see the charm, only the chain. 

He looks scared. 

As if he is ready for Poe to yell at him. 

“Finn,” Poe breaths out. 

Poe notices the way Finn flinches at the sounds of his name. 

Why is he doing that? Poe wonders to himself. 

Finn immediately stands in a salute formation. 

“Yes, sir? You wanted to see me?” He asks, his voice tight. Poe notices he is trying to stay calm. 

Poe is confused. What is happening right now?

Maybe this is a joke. 

Because, force, when does Finn ever salute him when they’re alone?

“At ease, soldier,” Poe laughs, deciding to play along. 

Finn removes his hand from his head but his stance is still the same. He is tense. 

He doesn’t say anything. He just looks towards Poe’s bed. Not even fully looking him in the eyes. 

He is still standing so far away. 

Right in front to the door. 

“Well… come over here,” Poe says to him, looking at him with an eyebrow raised. 

He can see the hesitation, before Finn walks over to him. Eyes on the ground, hands behind his back. 

He stands at the edge of Poe’s bed. 

Thankfully, since Kalonia removed the restraints, Poe can move his hands. 

He leans over and grabs Finn’s hard. 

Finn instantly flinches and yanks his hand away. Staring at Poe with eyes wider than Poe has ever seen, 

And Poe is instantly filled with hurt and sadness. 

He parts his lips to speak, but nothing comes out. 

Finn doesn’t say anything either. Still just staring at him, looking even more confused than he was. 

Poe has no idea what is going on but he doesn’t like it,. 

He can feel the tears streaming up in his eyes again and Finn is still just _looking_ at him. 

The shock growing on his face when he notices the tears in poe’s eyes. 

He opens his mouth but shuts it immediately. 

Poe doesn’t understand anything. Finn has never acted like this with him. So cold and detached. Was Finn mad at him for getting hurt? That hardly seemed fair. 

“Finn,” Poe croaks out, “Are you mad at me?”

Finn just stares harder now. Posture even more tense than before. Poe notices the way his hands are shaking. Especially the one he tried to grab. 

The thought of Finn flinching at his touch again makes him feel cold. 

“W— Why? Why would I be mad at you?,” Finn’s voice is hoarse and raspy, And Poe is just honestly relieved to hear it again. 

Poe runs both hands through his curls, and scratches at the back of his neck. A habit Finn has told him that he needs to get rid of. 

Finn is suddenly staring at his hand, as if he were thinking the exact same thing, 

His eyes quickly go back to Poe’s own eyes. 

“Why weren’t you here when I woke up?” Poe manages to finally say. 

And Finn’s expression is suddenly cold. He takes a breath before answering. 

“Why would I be here?” 

Poe physically flinches at the words. What is going on? Why would Finn say that? Why did it sound so cold?

And honestly, Poe doesn’t know what to say. What do you say to something like that? Finn has never acted this way before with him. He has never needed to know what to say to something like that. 

Because.. Because you’re— you’re my boyfriend and you're always here when I woke up,” Poe whispers.

Finn’s expression goes even colder and is now scary looking. 

“What? That’s not even fucking funny, Dameron,” The words come out like venom. Poe has never heard Finn talk in such a way, not even to Kylo Ren. 

Poe doesn’t know what to say, He doesn’t know what is going on. He doesn’t know anything. He doesn’t know why Finn is acting as if he would rather be anywhere than with him. 

Poe just wishes he could be unconscious again. 


End file.
